Girls Only–a Response to Melody’s Post

My friend, Melody had a great “Girls Only” post.  My comment ended up being so long that it exceeded the comment box’s word count.  I decided to post my response here, in it’s entirety.

Only proceed if you’re an “Estrogen American” and you have read Melody’s 7 Quick Takes - TMI /Girls Only Edition.


it's so nice to hear from a brave soul who is willing to put a voice to what many of us 30-something moms are experiencing.

i will openly share here because i believe that we could all benefit from the sharing.  i much rather read the views of a faithful Catholic mom than those from the secular world.

pelvic floor - i was convinced that kegals were not the answer after i experienced no improvement (from one preg. to the next) despite my rigorous routine.  i did some online research and was further convicted to avoid kegals, altogether.  it's been a little over one year and i have experienced great results with squats, alone.  (there continue to be mixed reviews.  i'm just sharing what has worked for me.)

gray hair -  (note, what I’m about to say comes from a place of discernment not condemnation.  I’m still discerning this matter on a regular basis.  here is where i stand today….)

i'm in the same boat you are.  (i wrote a little about it on my blog post - Hair Detachment) it's the transition period that i predict will be the most difficult.

i desire to let my husband be the head of my home and me.  this is one small area for me to practice such submission so that i can better follow him for the big stuff.  the way I see it,  if my husband does not find it necessary for me to dye my hair then i should follow suit.  it's not something big but it is within my means.  i consider it a small act of reparation for Jesus.  i also hope that it will inspire my daughters to embrace their entire femininity - as He wills it to be.  after all, going gray His design. 

i'm sure,  if more 30-something year olds would not dye their hair, this would be a non issue for many.  we would not have the same pressure to "look our age."

i desire to be the age i am, just as He has willed it to be.  i do make exceptions for my husband's requests.  I figure he’ll have to answer for those choices.  Smile

i try hard not to worry about how others may view me.  if they see me as a "frumpy old" woman, so be it--one me thing for me to offer to Jesus.  i want to live a simple life (as natural as possible)and enjoy every stage of life to it's fullest.  for me, that means accepting the gray hair as a crown of glory -- one step closer to Our Heavenly Father & Home.

feminine products - i used a menstrual cup (MC) two kids - five pregnancies ago.  i've always preferred tampons since it was the practical way to go for my athletic regime.  as a mom of three (including a nursing baby) tampons were no longer working for my heavy blood flow.   i opted for an alternative to tampons. (this was right around the time i became a wannabe crunchy mom.) i didn’t find many options.  i used Instead Softcups.  they worked great once i got used to the whole process. 

note:  do NOT attempt your MC trail run on a day when you’ll be active and/or outside the home.  i’m speaking from experience.

i didn’t use a MC for long because I became pregnant shortly after and never really had much time to reacquaint myself. 

i would definitely use a menstrual cup again.  in fact, i’ve been shopping around to see which brand I will purchase next. 

custody of the eyes - my temperament is to be direct and make a correction regardless of the situation.  yes, i have issues with my tongue.  instead, i work on fighting the urge. 

on my good days, i say a quick ejaculation to the Blessed Virgin Mary and try to shower that individual with charity -- the charity in which i desire to receive.  on my bad days, i abruptly end the conversation and walk away. 

i agree, a man should have eyes only for his wife.  i pray that i adequately train my boys so that this will never be an issue for them.

post-partum hair loss -  i  have you beat—dragonfly is twenty months and my hair has not completely returned.  the hair that has returned is gray. 

nursing bras – i think i’d opt for a quality nursing bra for the next preg (God-willing, there be a next time).  i usally wear a comfy sports bra when I’m at home and a regular bra when i need to be presentable.

i don’t care much for the latches on any nursing bra.  my fav nursing bra was a $6 find from target’s maternity line.  i found it eight years ago and it still does the best job for me (and the girls). 

valentines -  thanks for sharing the idea.  i look forward to checking it out.  dad and i usually don’t do anything extraordinary on st. valentine’s day.  i think this year may need to be different since st. valentine is my family’s patron saint for 2012.

Ad Jesum per Mariam!


  1. Oh, my gosh, I have to say, I've never even heard of the MC...I flow heavy the first 4-5 days then have 2-3 light days...(not now, I just had a baby and am pumping like crazy for my baby...hoping my period does not return for several months) It seems like it would get lost up there, the MC....just sayin' that's a fear of mine I think...

    Gray hair...same boat as you, trying to embrace each one that comes...

    Losing hair...not looking forward to it, it seems so far, that when I start losing it, I lose it til I get pregnant then, it stops...not in the losing period yet, not looking forward to it. (neither is my husband, as the shower and floor will be full of long dark hairs!)

    Nursing bras--I went Bravado this time and love them too!!!

    Fun post!!

  2. WRT to kegals: I read somewhere that most women learn kegals while urinating, and that can cause massive infections in the kidneys due to the start/stop/start/stop action. I've always been very hesitant to do them just for that reason aline. :/ I've totally got the sneeze-pee thing going on over here, so I think I need to try some squats ... although that may get harder as September rolls closer (God willing).

    Gray hairs - My 30th birthday is in ... 3 weeks and I'm anxiously awaiting that first gray hair. I was ELATED when I noticed crow's feet and fine lines. YAY!

    I have yet to find a nursing bra that works, although I've come close with a system of a soft-cup bra under a camisole and shirt. Support for the girls but not a production to nurse ... it was a lifesaver when Bennie was still nursing.


  3. I'm so sorry; I'm actually blushing. But thank you Lena (and Melody) for your frankness and discussion of these topics. we need more frequent, honest (i.e. helpful, appreciated, informative, never-thought-of-it-that-way-before-and-thank-you-for-your-insight) discussions on topics like these that affect women and moms! Like Jamie, I've never heard of the MC, and I die my hair every 10-12 weeks because I'm vain, but I will say that I've come an enormously long way in the ole' vanity department in the last 8 years. amazingly, marrying my husband (no, meeting my future husband) began the process of my letting go of many vanity trappings. again, thanks for sharing!

  4. I am so grateful for your insights, Lena! I can't tell you how many times I almost didn't post my I, like the lovely Gardenia, blushed the whole time. :) But I did it anyway because these really are topics that I want to talk to other Catholic women about and don't have the opportunity to. So thank you so much for letting me know that I'm not the only one who needs a little girl talk now and then!

    Also, I love that your saint is St. Valentine! And I just have to say that I regularly write comments on people's blogs that are way too long for blogger... I usually just give up after all the effort. Thanks for not giving up!

  5. Good for you, ladies! Interesting stuff here;) I'm at least a decade older but still learned some things! hee hee...never heard of the MC, for one! I've given up on Kegels and squats and just wear Depends now that I'm 40 something. Just kidding! (on the Depends part) But I'm tempted! I'm headed over to read Melody's original post. Has anyone addressed bulging vericose veins?

  6. Sounds very interesting! I will check this out! catalase



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